When your brother or sister has a medical condition or spends a lot of time in the hospital, it can change the way life feels in a big way. A lot of attention naturally goes toward the sibling who is sick, and even though that makes sense, it doesn’t mean you stop having needs or feelings of your own. Your life shifts too, and that deserves to be acknowledged.
You might feel worried about what’s happening, or confused because things at home don’t feel the same anymore. Maybe routines have changed, or your parents seem busier or more stressed than usual. Some siblings say they feel left out or invisible during this time. Others feel guilty—guilty for being healthy, for wanting things to go back to normal, or even for getting frustrated or annoyed.
Here’s something important to remember: all these feelings and more are normal. You’re allowed to feel upset, tired, proud, scared, or hopeful—sometimes all in the same day. Being a sibling in this situation takes strength, even if you don’t always feel strong. What you’re going through matters.
Talking about your feelings is one of the most helpful things you can do. A parent, a friend, a teacher, or a child life specialist can help you work through what’s on your mind. You don’t have to handle everything on your own.
It also helps to make space for yourself, even in small ways. Write down your thoughts, listen to music that calms you, step outside for some fresh air, or do something that makes you feel like you. Taking care of your mental and emotional health isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. You can care about your sibling while also caring about yourself.
Here are some Coping Tips:
1. Your emotions are normal — even the messy ones.
• Name what you’re feeling.
• Journal, use a notes app, or record a voice memo.
• Make a “feelings playlist” to help you process emotions.
2. You deserve support — and it’s okay to ask for it.
• Check in weekly with a trusted adult.
• Tell someone when you just need them to listen.
• Write a note or text if talking feels hard.
3. Small self-care moments can help on tough days.
• Take a few slow, deep breaths.
• Do something that makes you feel like yourself.
• Spend 10 minutes on an activity that makes you feel calm and happy, like stretching, doodling, or playing a game.
4. You play an important role in your family.
• Set one small boundary for yourself each day.
• Remind yourself: “My needs are valid.”
• Make time for something unrelated to illness or hospital life.