It’s December, and the air has filled with holiday lights, festive decorations, and a sense of cheer. However, for many of us, this season can also bring a mix of emotions – especially if we’ve experienced the death of someone we love. It’s a time when the absence of a family member or friend is felt even more, especially amid the celebrations. It’s important to talk about this.
Death and grief are often considered taboo subjects, among young people and adults alike. We might feel pressured to keep our feelings hidden or to “stay positive” during the holidays. Yet, acknowledging our emotions can be a crucial part of healing, especially during a time that focuses on being together and feeling happy.
Why Grief is Normal
Grief isn’t linear; it doesn’t follow a set path or timeline. It can visit us unexpectedly and often resurfaces during big moments – like holidays. When we think about those who have died, it’s completely normal to feel sad, confused, or even angry. Everyone experiences grief differently, and there’s no right or wrong way to navigate it.
Some people may find comfort in thinking about their loved ones, while others might feel overwhelmed by the loss. You might feel a sense of guilt for laughing or enjoying holiday traditions without them, but it’s important to recognize that it’s okay to feel joy and sadness at the same time.
The Holidays: A Time for Reflection
While many holidays focus on celebration, they can also provide an opportunity for reflection. You might consider creating a new tradition in honor of your loved one. This could be lighting a candle in their memory during a family gathering or sharing stories about them during dinner. These small acts can help keep their memory alive and make the holidays feel more inclusive of their presence.
Talking About It
What might feel like a big hurdle in addressing grief is the fear of bringing it up. You might worry about making others uncomfortable or feel like your feelings are a burden to others. However, talking about your loved one can be very healing – not just for you, but for others who might be feeling the same way. If you feel comfortable, share your thoughts with friends or family. They may be experiencing similar emotions but might not know how to express them.
If direct conversations feel too difficult, consider writing a letter to your loved one. This can be a therapeutic way to express your feelings, reflect on your memories, and share what you wish they could see or experience during this time.
Seeking Support
Sometimes, the feelings that come along with grief can feel too heavy to carry alone. If you’re struggling, know that it’s perfectly okay to seek help. Many schools offer counseling services, and there are also community resources and hotlines dedicated to supporting youth through grief. Online peer groups, like Upopolis, can be especially helpful, providing a space where you can connect with others who understand, or can at the very least, relate to what you’re going through.
Remembering and Celebrating Life
As you navigate this holiday season, remember that honoring someone who has died doesn’t mean you have to dwell in sadness. It’s possible to celebrate their life while still acknowledging your grief. You might choose to make a favorite dish they loved, create a photo album, or even volunteer in their memory.
The holidays can be a beautiful time to reflect on the love and memories shared with those who have died, allowing us to carry their memories into our celebrations.
December can be a complex month filled with both joy and sorrow. It’s okay to feel a mix of emotions, and it’s essential to talk about them. By sharing your feelings, creating new traditions, and seeking support, you can find a way to honor your loved ones while still engaging with the spirit of the season. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey, and it’s okay to express what’s in your heart.
As you navigate this holiday season, take time to honor your feelings and find ways to celebrate both life and loss. Whether through reflection, conversation, or remembrance, each step can help you create a meaningful connection to your loved one while embracing the beauty of the holidays.