When a parent or caregiver gets sick, it affects the entire family, and young people often feel it the most. This can be a tough time full of emotional stress, changes in roles, and new family responsibilities. Understanding how a parent’s or caregiver’s illness affects you can help you handle this difficult situation. This blog post will explain some of what you might experience and give you some tips for coping with these changes.
Stress and Anxiety
The first thing young people often experience when a parent gets sick is emotional distress. It’s normal to feel a mix of emotions like fear, sadness, anger, and even guilt. Not knowing what will happen in the future, along with the stress of seeing a parent in pain, can be overwhelming. This emotional strain may show up as mood swings, withdrawing from friends, or changes in behavior.
You may feel helpless watching your parent struggle. It can lead to feelings of anxiety or sadness, and you might worry about your parent’s health, the family’s finances, or what might happen if the illness is serious.
Tip: Focus on what you can control, while allowing yourself to feel your emotions. When everything feels uncertain, it can help to create small, manageable routines for yourself, such as regular check-ins with your parent or taking time for self-care. This could be something as simple as journaling your feelings, doing breathing exercises, or engaging in a calming activity like reading or taking a walk.
Increased Responsibilities
When a parent is sick, the family’s responsibilities may shift, and you might be asked to take on tasks you’re not prepared for. You might end up helping care for younger siblings, doing more chores around the house, or even taking care of your sick parent. This change in roles can be especially difficult for teens, who are already dealing with the challenges of growing up.
While some young people might rise to the occasion, these new duties can also cause burnout, frustration, and even anger. It can be hard to balance these extra responsibilities with schoolwork, hobbies, and keeping up with friends.
Tip: Set realistic expectations for yourself and communicate with others about what you can manage. It’s okay to ask for help or share your feelings with a trusted family member or friend. Try to break tasks into smaller, more manageable steps, and make sure to take breaks to recharge – your well-being is just as important as your responsibilities.
Academic Challenges
The emotional and practical stress of having a sick parent can also affect your school life. It’s common for grades to drop, or for students to lose interest in school. Some might struggle to concentrate or miss school because of the extra responsibilities at home.
It’s important for teachers and counselors to understand these struggles and offer support. Simple things like giving extended deadlines or providing counseling can make a big difference during this tough time.
Tip: Communicate with your teachers or school counselor about what you’re going through. Let them know if you’re struggling to keep up, and ask for extensions or extra help if needed. Most teachers will be understanding and willing to support you, which can relieve some of the pressure during a difficult time.
Social Isolation
Many young people with a sick parent feel isolated from their friends. They may avoid talking about their situation because they’re afraid of being misunderstood or pitied. This can make them feel even more alone, especially if they need to skip social events to take care of family responsibilities.
However, it’s important to keep in touch with friends. Even if you’re not able to hang out as much, they can still be a great support system.
Tip: Be open with a close friend about what you’re going through, even if it’s just a little at a time. You don’t have to go into all the details, but sharing some of your feelings can help you feel more connected. Friends can offer support, and just knowing they’re there can make a big difference, even if you can’t see them as often.
Dealing with a parent’s illness is challenging. But with the right support, it can also be a time of personal growth and strength. By recognizing the challenges and making sure you have emotional, academic, and social support, you can get through this experience and come out stronger.
If you or someone you know would benefit from meeting other youth who have a sick parent or caregiver, refer them to our Youth of Adult Patients (YAP) Island! Visit upopolis.org for more information or e-mail support@upopolis.com.