Dear 12 Year-old Lily,
TAKE A DEEP BREATH. I understand that things might feel overwhelming right now, but I want you to know that everything will be okay.
Today is an important day as you pick up your back brace. I can tell you from my own experience—wearing a back brace as a middle schooler and through many activities like summer camps, sleepovers, and vacations—that it will be okay. When you first went to the scoliosis clinic and saw the bulky, plastic brace, it probably made you feel unsure or nervous. Some questions that may have gone through your head like; “How will I play sports? What will my friends think? How will I sleep with the brace on?” It’s natural to have these thoughts, but I’m here to offer four tips that I wish someone had shared with me when I first got my back brace.
1. Be Kind to Yourself
Your brace and you are about to become very close friends. It may take time to get used to, so it’s important to try to be patient with yourself. Use tools like positive self-talk to help when things feel challenging. One great tool is the STOP breathing technique: Stop, take a breath, Observe how you’re feeling, and then Proceed. This can be really helpful when you feel overwhelmed, like when a classmate asks about your brace, and you’re not sure what to say. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones, like “I can do this” or “I’m doing my best.” And find things that comfort you, like reading or drawing, to help take your mind off any discomfort. Most importantly, remember: your back brace doesn’t stop you from doing the things you enjoy—it might just mean doing them in a new way. Let it be your superpower and keep doing what you love. Always be kind to yourself!
- Let Others be Curious
It’s okay for people to be curious. If someone asks questions, or even makes a comment, it’s usually because they don’t understand why you’re wearing the brace. Don’t be afraid to teach them a little about scoliosis and share why the brace is so important for your health. Educating others can help them be more supportive and kind.
- Embrace Your Strength
Be proud of who you are! I know I was nervous at first, like when I didn’t want to wear a swimsuit in front of others because of my brace. I worried about how my spine curve looked and whether others would notice. But in reality, the only person who focused on these things the most, was me. What others noticed was my confidence and how I carried myself. It’s okay to feel unsure sometimes—those feelings are totally normal. But over time, I learned to see my brace as my armor, and my scoliosis as something that makes me unique. I am empowered by my scoliosis, and you can be too!
- You’re Not Alone
It might feel like you’re the only one wearing a back brace, but you are not alone. It’s okay to feel all kinds of emotions, and it’s important to talk about them with the people who care about you. Your family, friends, and loved ones want to support you, but they can’t help if they don’t know what you need. Also, there are many other people who understand exactly what you’re going through. Seek out groups or communities, like the Scoliosis Common Grounds Group, where you can connect with others in similar situations. Knowing others are there to support you can make the journey a little easier.
Looking back at my own experience with a back brace, I now see it as something that helped me grow stronger and become the person I am today. So, 12-year-old Lily, get ready! The next few years are going to be wonderful.
Love,
20-year-old Lily
Our next Scoliosis Common Grounds Programming runs March 2 & 3rd at 7PM EST. Register here