siblings
What It’s Like to Be a Sibling: Your Feelings Matter Too.
When your brother or sister has a medical condition or spends a lot of time in the hospital, it can change the way life feels in a big way. A lot of attention naturally goes toward the sibling who is sick, and even though that makes sense, it doesn’t mean you stop having needs or feelings of your own. Your life shifts too, and that deserves to be acknowledged.
You might feel worried about what’s happening, or confused because things at home don’t feel the same anymore. Maybe routines have changed, or your parents seem busier or more stressed than usual. Some siblings say they feel left out or invisible during this time. Others feel guilty—guilty for being healthy, for wanting things to go back to normal, or even for getting frustrated or annoyed.
Here’s something important to remember: all these feelings and more are normal. You’re allowed to feel upset, tired, proud, scared, or hopeful—sometimes all in the same day. Being a sibling in this situation takes strength, even if you don’t always feel strong. What you’re going through matters.
Talking about your feelings is one of the most helpful things you can do. A parent, a friend, a teacher, or a child life specialist can help you work through what’s on your mind. You don’t have to handle everything on your own.
It also helps to make space for yourself, even in small ways. Write down your thoughts, listen to music that calms you, step outside for some fresh air, or do something that makes you feel like you. Taking care of your mental and emotional health isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. You can care about your sibling while also caring about yourself.
Here are some Coping Tips:
1. Your emotions are normal — even the messy ones.
• Name what you’re feeling.
• Journal, use a notes app, or record a voice memo.
• Make a “feelings playlist” to help you process emotions.
2. You deserve support — and it’s okay to ask for it.
• Check in weekly with a trusted adult.
• Tell someone when you just need them to listen.
• Write a note or text if talking feels hard.
3. Small self-care moments can help on tough days.
• Take a few slow, deep breaths.
• Do something that makes you feel like yourself.
• Spend 10 minutes on an activity that makes you feel calm and happy, like stretching, doodling, or playing a game.
4. You play an important role in your family.
• Set one small boundary for yourself each day.
• Remind yourself: “My needs are valid.”
• Make time for something unrelated to illness or hospital life.
4 Tips To Help Siblings Cope
Having a sibling with medical challenges can feel tough sometimes. You may feel uncertain, sad, or even helpless at times. It’s normal to feel a mix of emotions, but it’s important to know you’re not alone. Many kids with a sibling who is ill feel isolated or overwhelmed at times. However, there are ways to cope and get support.
Some tips that can help include:
Understanding and Preparation
One way to feel better is to learn about your sibling’s illness. Ask a parent, caregiver, or trusted adult to explain it in a way you can understand. When you know what’s happening, you might feel less worried and more ready for what’s coming next. Understanding what your sibling needs can also help you support them better.
Stay Connected and Included
When everything seems to focus on your sibling’s illness, you might feel left out. But remember, you are important too! Spend time doing things you enjoy with your friends or other family members is important.
Predictability and Routine
Having a routine can help bring comfort during uncertain times. While things may change because of medical appointments or treatments, try to keep parts of your day the same, like regular meals, extra-curricular activities or your bedtime routine. Knowing what to expect can make things feel less stressful.
Takeaway Tips for Coping:
- Talk it out with someone you trust (it can be a loved one, friend, teacher, guidance counsellor).
- Ask questions to understand your sibling’s illness and to feel more prepared.
- Stay connected with friends, family, and check out Upopolis to connect with others who have similar experiences. (Stay tuned for our sibling island Common Grounds coming in April!)
- Stick to routines to help you feel more settled.
Here at Upopolis, we want to create a safe online space where youth who are siblings can connect with each other, share their feelings, and get advice. It’s a great way to find others who understand what you’re going through.
Stay tuned for April’s Common Grounds where siblings can come together to talk, play games, and learn new ways to cope. It’s a great way to feel supported!