Tips
When Someone You Love Is Sick: It’s Okay to Have Feelings Too
When someone in your family is sick, a lot can change. Routines might look different, plans may be put on hold, and you might find yourself worrying about what comes next. Whether it’s your parent, grandparent or sibling who is unwell, you may be experiencing feelings that are difficult to explain and that’s okay.
Sometimes, it can feel like everyone’s focus is on the person who is sick. You might try to be helpful, keep things to yourself, or act like everything is fine because you don’t want to add more stress to your family. Maybe you aren’t even sure how you feel.
Whatever you’re feeling, there’s something important to remember: you matter, too.
It’s Okay to Feel More Than One Thing
When someone you love is sick, your feelings can be complicated. You might feel worried about their health one moment and frustrated about how much your life has changed the next. You might feel sad, confused, angry, guilty, or even unsure of what you’re supposed to feel.
Maybe you miss spending time with your parent because they have appointments or need more rest. Maybe your sibling is getting extra attention, and you feel like your own needs are being put on the back burner. Or maybe you feel worried about the future but don’t know who to talk to about it. You might even feel guilty for being frustrated or wanting things to go back to how they were before.
All of these feelings can exist alongside how much you love someone. You can love your family and still feel frustrated. You can understand why things have changed and still wish they hadn’t. You can feel grateful for the time you have together and still feel sad about what you’re going through. Having complicated feelings doesn’t make you selfish, ungrateful, or a bad family member. It makes you human.
You Don’t Have to Be Strong All the Time
Sometimes, when someone in your family is sick, you might feel pressure to be the strong one. You may try not to cry, avoid talking about your worries, or tell everyone you’re fine even when you’re having a difficult day. Maybe you don’t want to upset your parent. Maybe you think your sibling already has enough to deal with. Or maybe you’re used to being the person everyone can count on. But being strong doesn’t mean pretending you’re okay all the time.
You are allowed to have hard days. You’re allowed to ask questions, express your worries, cry when you need to, or admit that you don’t know how you feel. You don’t have to have the right words for everything you’re experiencing.And remember, you are not responsible for fixing everything or making everything okay. It’s okay to let trusted adults support you, too.
It’s Okay to Have Fun, Too
Have you ever laughed with your friends, enjoyed a day out, or gotten excited about something and then suddenly felt guilty because someone you love is sick? You might wonder whether it’s okay to have fun when things at home are difficult. The answer is yes.
You can care deeply about someone and still enjoy your life. You can go to school, spend time with friends, play your favourite game, celebrate something exciting, or look forward to the weekend. Taking a break from worrying doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten about your loved one. Finding moments of happiness doesn’t make their situation any less important. It’s okay to have moments that are just for you. You deserve laughter, connection, new experiences, and things to look forward to even when life feels uncertain.
Finding Little Ways to Cope
You might not be able to change what’s happening with your loved one’s health, and that uncertainty can be difficult. But there are small things you can do to help yourself through challenging moments.
Here are a few ideas to try:
- Talk to someone you trust. This could be a friend, family member, teacher, school counsellor, or another trusted adult. You don’t have to keep everything to yourself.
- Find a way to express your feelings. Try journaling, drawing, listening to music, or writing down what’s on your mind. You don’t have to share it with anyone unless you want to.
- Keep some familiar routines. When life feels unpredictable, little things like your favourite show, a regular walk, or time with friends can provide a sense of normalcy.
- Ask questions when you need information. If you’re worried or confused about what’s happening, you can ask a trusted adult to help explain things in a way that makes sense to you.
- Give yourself permission to take a break. It’s okay to spend time doing something you enjoy, even if you can’t stop thinking about what’s happening completely.
- Let people know what you need. Sometimes, that might mean asking for extra time with a parent, wanting someone to listen, or simply saying, “I’m having a hard day.”
Not every coping strategy will work every time, and that’s okay. Finding what helps you is a process. Some days, talking might help. Other days, you might just want a little quiet time. You don’t need to figure it all out at once.
You Deserve Support, Too
When someone you love is sick, it can sometimes feel difficult to ask for attention or support because you know they’re going through something challenging themselves. But your feelings don’t become less important because someone else is unwell. You deserve people who listen to you, take your worries seriously, and make space for what you’re experiencing. You deserve to ask for help when things feel overwhelming, and you don’t have to wait until things become really difficult to reach out.
If you aren’t sure how to start a conversation, you could try saying:
- “I’ve been worrying a lot lately, and I think I need someone to talk to.”
- “I know things are hard right now, but I’ve been having a hard time, too.”
- “Sometimes I feel like I should be okay, but I’m not really sure how I feel.”
- “Could we spend some time together? I’ve been missing you.”
- “I don’t need you to fix anything. I just need someone to listen.”
You don’t have to say everything perfectly. Sometimes, starting the conversation is enough. And if the first person you talk to isn’t able to give you the support you need, it’s okay to reach out to another trusted adult.
A Little Reminder for You
If someone you love is sick, you might not always know what to feel, what to say, or what will happen next. There may be days when you feel okay and other days when everything feels a little harder. You don’t have to feel the same way every day. You don’t have to be positive all the time. And you don’t have to carry everything on your own. You can love someone and feel frustrated. You can be worried and still laugh with your friends. You can want to help your family and still need help yourself.
Someone you love may be going through something difficult, but you are going through something, too. Your feelings matter, your needs matter, and you deserve support.
Take a Moment for Yourself
If you’re comfortable, take a few minutes to reflect on one or more of these questions:
- What’s one feeling I’ve been experiencing lately that I haven’t talked about?
- What’s something that helps me feel a little more like myself?
- Who is someone I feel comfortable talking to when things get difficult?
- What’s one thing I wish others understood about my experience?
This is simply a chance to check in with yourself and remember that your feelings deserve space, too. You don’t have to go through it alone.
Changing Seasons, Changing Pace: Finding Your Fall Flow
There is something special about October. Trees turn gold, red and yellow, the air gets crisp, and the world naturally invites us to slow down. But while nature is easing into a quieter season, your schedule might be doing the exact opposite. Between school assignments, staying connected with friends, and managing medical appointments, treatment schedules, or health changes, autumn can quickly feel overwhelming.
If you’re feeling the weight of a busy calendar, remember this: you don’t have to move at the same speed as everyone else to enjoy the season. Here’s how you can honor your health, protect your energy, and still savor the magic of fall.
1.Match Your Pace to Your Season
Nature doesn’t bloom all year long, and you aren’t meant to constantly run at full
speed, either. School deadlines, appointments, new routines, hospital visits or
managing different symptoms, can take lots of physical and emotional energy.
–Give Yourself Credit: Recognize that establishing a new school routine,
socializing with friends and managing your health can be a delicate
balance. If an appointment takes most of your strength, it is completely
valid to rest for the remainder of the day.
–Listen to Your Body’s Signals: Trouble focusing, fatigue and or feeling
easily frustrated are signs that your system may need a pause. Resting isn’t
a failure—it’s an essential part of your care
2.Create Low-Pressure Traditions
Fall is packed with social expectations, but you can redesign traditions to
fit your comfort level:
–Swap Big Crowds for Cozy Spaces: If a busy fall event feels exhausting,
bring the fall vibe to you. Decorate your room, bake seasonal treats, or host
a low-key scary movie night with a close friend.
–Keep Connection Flexible: True friends understand that your health
comes first. It’s okay to join a group chat, hop on a video call, or hang out
online when going out in person isn’t in the cards.
-The “Exit Strategy”: When you do attend events, give yourself an easy exit
plan beforehand. Knowing you can leave whenever you need to, takes
away a lot of the pressure.
3.Build Your Personal “Fall Comfort Kit”
When days are filled with long school hours, homework, waiting for
appointments, or different commitments, having a portable “Comfort Kit” can
make a hard day feel much softer:
-Sensory Comforts: Pack a cozy sweater, your favorite lip balm, or a soft
blanket for appointment days.
-Mindful Distractions: Create a go to playlist, audiobooks, or have a pocket
journal ready to help you decompress between commitments.
-Small Rituals: Find one tiny thing each day that grounds you—like
watching the leaves fall outside your window or sipping a warm drink
after a long day.
What is one small way you bring comfort to your routine when school and health commitments start to pile up? Enjoy finding your fall flow. 🙂
Summer Off Schedule: The Quiet Struggle of Feeling Disconnected
Summer is often pictured as freedom, late nights, no alarms, spontaneous plans, and endless sunshine. And in a lot of ways, it is that. But what people don’t always talk about is the strange in-between feeling that can come with it: losing your routine, drifting from friends, and feeling more disconnected than expected.
When school is in session, life has structure built in. You see the same people every day, even if it’s just for a few minutes between classes. There are shared routines, inside jokes, and a natural rhythm that keeps friendships active without much effort. But once summer starts, that rhythm disappears almost overnight.
When “Free Time” Feels Less Free
At first, having no schedule sounds amazing. Sleep in, stay up late, do whatever you want. But after a while, that lack of structure can start to feel like floating with no direction. Days blur together. Plans don’t always happen. And even when you want to reach out to friends, it’s easy to assume they’re busy, or to fall into the habit of waiting instead of initiating.
Friendships Feel Different in the Summer
One of the hardest parts of summer is realizing that “out of sight” can sometimes turn into “out of touch.” During the school year, friendships are maintained almost automatically. In the summer, they require more intention. And when everyone is in a different routine, it’s normal for communication to slow down. That doesn’t mean friendships are ending, it just means they’re shifting. But it can still feel isolating when you’re the one waiting for a message or trying to make plans that don’t line up.
The Quiet Feeling of Disconnection
Even when you’re technically “doing things,” summer can still feel emotionally quiet. You might be surrounded by people sometimes, but still feel a bit separate from your usual support system. Social media can make this worse by seeing others constantly out, traveling, or always with friends can make your own slower days feel like you’re missing out, even when you’re just living your own version of summer.
Finding Your Own Rhythm Again
The good news is that this feeling doesn’t last forever, and there are ways to ease it:
- Creating a simple daily routine (even something small like a morning walk or set meal times)
- Making plans ahead of time instead of waiting for last-minute invites
- Checking in with friends regularly, even if it’s just a quick message
- Finding small things that anchor your day, like a hobby, workout, or creative project
- Accepting that not every day has to be “productive” to be meaningful
A Different Kind of Summer
Summer doesn’t always have to be loud or constantly social to be good. Sometimes it’s about learning how to be okay in quieter moments, and realizing that connection doesn’t disappear just because it changes pace.Friendships stretch, routines shift, and you adjust. And somewhere in that adjustment, you start building a different kind of balance, one that includes both connection and independence.
A Summer That Feels Like You
Summer is a season of change. Friendships shift, routines look different, and there’s often a little bit of figuring things out along the way. But change can also create space for growth. It can be a chance to discover new interests, strengthen relationships, and learn what helps you feel connected.
Whether your summer is full of adventures or made up of quieter moments, there’s room for it to be meaningful. Sometimes finding your own rhythm is the first step toward feeling more connected, both with others and with yourself.
First Time Joining a Upopolis Group? Tips to Help You Feel Ready!
- Be kind to yourself, it’s normal to feel different emotions. Others in the group are
probably feeling similarly, whether that is scared, excited, or nervous about joining for
the first time. As research shows that nearly everyone feels nervous before starting
something new. - You can always ask! Remember we are always available: If you are not sure if a
program might be a good fit for you or have questions after registering, you can always
email support@upopolis.com. They can answer any questions you may have, like what to
expect, so you can feel ready. - Give yourself time to get used to it: If you are not ready to participate in a group, take
the time you need to feel comfortable. Joining a group is an important step, and we want
you to participate without stress. - Goal setting: Whether that means just listening for the first time, only saying your name,
or speaking for a small part of an activity, setting small personal goals may be helpful. - Join our game nights! Participating in our monthly game nights can be a fun way to try
out online programs and meet new people in a relaxed environment.
Getting started at Upopolis can feel like a big step! If you need time to adjust or try something
new, Upopolis will always be there to help you through it!
Remember these tips: ask questions, take your time and be kind to yourself, set small reachable
goals, and try a game night if you want to start slowly.
You can also check out these posts to learn more about what we do at Upopolis and hear what
past members have to say about their experiences!
“Upopolis has changed my life” – Jenna’s journey
Our youth members weigh in: 4 reasons why Upopolis is the place to be!
It’s important to remember that Upopolis is all about creating community, and how you take part
in that is always up to you!
Joining a group for the first time can be scary, especially for teens and young adults. You might wonder if you’ll fit in, who will join, and what will happen in the group. It’s very normal to feel
nervous about online programs if you’ve never tried it before!
At Upopolis, we use our groups and programs as a way to help youth meet others, make friends
with those “who get it”, and feel supported.
If you are feeling unsure about joining a group, the tips below may help!
Living Fully, Even When You’re Not Sure How You’ll Feel
Have you ever made plans and caught yourself thinking, “I hope I’ll feel up to it by the time this comes around”? Living with chronic illness can mean living with uncertainty. You might not know how your body will feel next week, or even by the end of the day. It’s completely normal if that uncertainty feels overwhelming, frustrating, or even scary at times. Let’s talk about ways to make those feelings more manageable.
When a lot is going on, it’s easy to get caught up in things outside our control. Sometimes, we need to slow down. Take a breath and re-evaluate where you want to focus your energy. Your locus of control might include following your treatment regimens, focusing on school or extracurriculars, communicating your needs, or resting when your body asks for it. You may not be able to control every symptom or variable, but you can control how you respond and how you move forward.
You could try:
Creating a diagram of your worries and dividing them into what you can and cannot control
Making a priority list of what matters most to you right now
Creating a plan to address what is within your control
Drawing a “choice map” to help you reflect on and work through stressors.
When your body changes, your plans might need to change too. Flexibility doesn’t mean you don’t care about spending time with others. Often, the hardest part of honouring your needs is the guilt that can come with it. Remember: no one can be perfectly available for everything. Being flexible with yourself means you are listening to
Consider:
Creating a Plan A, B, or even C based on how you might feel physically and emotionally
Grounding yourself in small, steady routines
Packing a “just-in-case” kit with items that help support you during unexpected moments
Plans shift. Unexpected things happen. That’s a normal part of life. We don’t need to solve tomorrow’s problems today, and we can’t predict exactly how everything will unfold. What we can do is celebrate our wins- even the small ones. You may not control every symptom or every set back, but you can choose your next step. And you can remind yourself, again and again:
You are allowed to build a life that works with your body, not against it.
By, Elysia, Upopolis Intern 2026
What It’s Like to Be a Sibling: Your Feelings Matter Too.
When your brother or sister has a medical condition or spends a lot of time in the hospital, it can change the way life feels in a big way. A lot of attention naturally goes toward the sibling who is sick, and even though that makes sense, it doesn’t mean you stop having needs or feelings of your own. Your life shifts too, and that deserves to be acknowledged.
You might feel worried about what’s happening, or confused because things at home don’t feel the same anymore. Maybe routines have changed, or your parents seem busier or more stressed than usual. Some siblings say they feel left out or invisible during this time. Others feel guilty—guilty for being healthy, for wanting things to go back to normal, or even for getting frustrated or annoyed.
Here’s something important to remember: all these feelings and more are normal. You’re allowed to feel upset, tired, proud, scared, or hopeful—sometimes all in the same day. Being a sibling in this situation takes strength, even if you don’t always feel strong. What you’re going through matters.
Talking about your feelings is one of the most helpful things you can do. A parent, a friend, a teacher, or a child life specialist can help you work through what’s on your mind. You don’t have to handle everything on your own.
It also helps to make space for yourself, even in small ways. Write down your thoughts, listen to music that calms you, step outside for some fresh air, or do something that makes you feel like you. Taking care of your mental and emotional health isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. You can care about your sibling while also caring about yourself.
Here are some Coping Tips:
1. Your emotions are normal — even the messy ones.
• Name what you’re feeling.
• Journal, use a notes app, or record a voice memo.
• Make a “feelings playlist” to help you process emotions.
2. You deserve support — and it’s okay to ask for it.
• Check in weekly with a trusted adult.
• Tell someone when you just need them to listen.
• Write a note or text if talking feels hard.
3. Small self-care moments can help on tough days.
• Take a few slow, deep breaths.
• Do something that makes you feel like yourself.
• Spend 10 minutes on an activity that makes you feel calm and happy, like stretching, doodling, or playing a game.
4. You play an important role in your family.
• Set one small boundary for yourself each day.
• Remind yourself: “My needs are valid.”
• Make time for something unrelated to illness or hospital life.
First Month of School Check-In
As we reach the end of the first month of school, it’s a great time to pause and check in with yourself. How are you coping so far?
The first month back often brings lots of change—new routines, new teachers, and sometimes even big transitions like figuring out how to balance schoolwork with an illness. That’s a lot to carry.
Taking a few minutes to reflect on your experience can really help. You might want to write your thoughts down in a journal or even share them with someone you trust.
Here are some questions to think about:
- What is something you thought would be challenging, but wasn’t?
- Who can you talk to about your illness?
- Who can you talk to when you are feeling sad, stressed, or anxious?
- What are you worried about moving forward? What can you do to cope with this feeling?
- What are three things you are proud of yourself for doing this month?
After reflecting, remember: it’s completely normal to feel stressed, upset, or worried. Navigating school while managing your health is hard—and it’s okay to admit that.
Here are some ways to cope with the challenges of balancing school and illness:
- Talk to your teachers. Let them know if you need accommodations—like extra time on assignments due to an appointment or if you may need to leave class. Sharing your needs helps them support you.
- Lean on friends you trust. A good support system can make a big difference. When friends understand what’s going on, they can support you in ways that really help.
- Take breaks when you need to. School can be overwhelming, so give yourself permission to rest and do activities you enjoy.
- Prioritize sleep. Rest is powerful—it boosts your mood, focus, and ability to handle tough situations.
- Find an outlet. Whether it’s journaling, music, art, gaming, or fitness, having a way to express yourself can ease stress.
Most of all, remember: it’s okay to ask for help from friends, family, or loved ones. Your health and well-being is important!
Take a deep breath—you’ve got this.
Scroll Smart: Setting Healthy Social Media Boundaries
If you’re a young person living with illness, social media can feel like both your best friend and your biggest challenge. On one hand, it helps you stay connected, distract yourself during tough times, and even find support from others who “get it.” But on the other hand, endless scrolling, comparing yourself to others, or receiving negative comments can take a toll on your mental health. This post is for you—youth who use social media and want to keep it a positive space while managing the challenges of illness.
Research shows that social media can boost connection and belonging when used in healthy ways, but too much time online can increase stress, anxiety, and feelings of isolation. It’s all about finding balance.
Here are a few ways you can set healthy boundaries online:
1. Limit your screen time.
It’s easy to lose track of time online. Try setting a timer or using built-in app limits to remind yourself to log off. Even short breaks give your mind and body a chance to rest.
2. Notice how you feel after scrolling.
Do you feel better, inspired, or connected after being online? Or do you feel drained, left out, or upset? Use those feelings as a signal for when it’s time to step back.
3. Choose who you follow wisely.
Fill your feed with accounts that make you feel supported, uplifted, or entertained in a positive way. It’s okay to unfollow or mute people if their posts leave you feeling worse about yourself.
4. Protect your privacy.
Sharing your story can be powerful, but remember—you get to decide what and how much to share. Keep your personal information safe, and only connect with people you trust.
5. Make space for offline joy.
Try swapping some screen time for activities that recharge you—like reading, listening to music, or spending time with friends and family in person. Balance helps you stay grounded.
Conclusion
Social media can be an amazing tool, especially when you’re going through challenges with your health. The key is to use it mindfully. By setting limits, paying attention to your feelings, and protecting your space online, you can make sure social media works for you—not against you.
If you want more tips on managing stress and staying connected, check out other Upopolis blog posts on [wellness and coping strategies]. And remember—Upopolis is a safe space designed just for youth like you, where you can connect, share, and belong.
So the next time you pick up your phone, ask yourself: “Will this scroll support me?” If the answer is yes, scroll on. If not, give yourself permission to step back—you deserve it.
U Got This: From School Days to Summer Ways
Our Upopolis Child Life Specialists help support youth through big changes-and the end of the school year is one of them. Whether you’re moving up a grade, switching schools, starting a new treatment, graduating, or heading into summer break, it’s normal to feel a mix of emotions.
Here are some tips to take care of yourself during this transition:
Talk About Your Feelings
Feeling excited and nervous? That’s okay! Change brings up all kinds of emotions. Talking to someone you trust; a parent, teacher, or friend- can help you feel calmer and more prepared.
Look Back & Celebrate the School Year You’ve done a lot this school year- even if it didn’t always feel easy. Before jumping into what’s next, take a moment to notice how far you’ve come.
Try one of these:
- Capture Memories: Take photos or write down your favorite moments or accomplishments on slips of paper.
- Top 3 List: What were your 3 favorite memories? 3 things you’re proud of? 3 things you learned?
- Notes: Write a quick thank-you or goodbye note to a teacher, friend, or even yourself!
- Year-in-Review: Draw a picture or make a playlist that captures your year’s vibe.
Get Ready for What’s Ahead
Big changes coming up? Sometimes new changes like a new school or schedule can feel overwhelming, but a little prep goes a long way.
New school? New schedule? Ask questions, take a tour, or talk to someone who’s been there. Knowing what to expect can help to feel safe and prepared.
Keep a Bit of Routine
Summer should be fun and relaxing, but your mind still likes some structure! Keep a loose routine for sleep, meals, and fun so your days feel balanced.
Even small habits—like a morning walk, journaling, or set mealtimes—can help your days feel more predictable and calm.
Remember: You’re Growing
Transitions are not always easy, but each step you’ve taken shows how much you’ve grown. You’ve already overcome so much, and you’re ready for what’s next. Be proud of yourself, and don’t hesitate to ask for support whenever you need it — you’re not alone on this journey.
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