Coping
Your September Comfort Kit
As September approaches, many teens are getting ready to head back to school. While a new school year can be exciting, it can also bring a lot of pressure. There can be this unspoken expectation to come back looking your best, feeling your best, and having everything figured out. The truth is, that’s a lot to carry. Whether you’re starting a new school, returning to familiar faces, or balancing school with appointments, treatments, or other health challenges, it’s okay if you’re feeling a mix of emotions. Instead of striving to be the “perfect” version of yourself this September, try focusing on something different: creating your own September Comfort Kit—a collection of tools and habits that help you feel supported, organized, and grounded when life gets busy.
📱 Apps That Can Make Life a Little Easier
The right apps can help you stay organized, study more efficiently, and even take mindful breaks throughout the day Here are a few teen favourites:
•Notion – Keep track of homework, schedules, goals, and notes all in one place.
•Quizlet – Make studying a little less stressful with digital flashcards and practice quizzes.
•Forest – Stay focused by putting your phone down and growing a virtual forest while you work.
•Upopolis (App launching Fall 2026) – Connect with other youth living with medical conditions, discover helpful resources, and find a supportive community that understands what you’re going through.
✍️Give Journaling a Chance
We know—just hearing the word journaling might make some people roll their eyes. But before you dismiss it, hear us out! Journaling isn’t about writing the perfect story or filling pages every day. It’s simply a space to unload your thoughts, process emotions, celebrate small wins, or make sense of a difficult day. Research shows journaling can help reduce stress, improve self-awareness, strengthen problem- solving skills, and even boost memory.
If you’re not sure where to start, try one of these prompts:
•What’s one thing I’m looking forward to this month?
•What’s something I’m nervous about?
• What helps me feel calm when I’m overwhelmed?
• What’s one thing I’m proud of from this summer?
• If I could be kind to myself this week, what would that look like?
🎧 Create Your Comfort Playlist
Music can be incredibly powerful. Build a playlist filled with songs that help you feel calm, motivated, understood, or simply make you smile. On tough days, press play and let it be a reminder that you have tools to help you through.
🎙️Listen to a Podcast
Whether you’re riding the bus, getting ready in the morning, or winding down before bed, podcasts can inspire, distract, or help you learn something new. Find one that makes you laugh, teaches you a new skill, or reminds you that you’re not alone.
🙏 Practice Daily Gratitude
Gratitude doesn’t mean pretending everything is perfect. It simply means noticing the small moments that bring comfort or joy. Each day, try writing down three things you’re grateful for. They don’t have to be big. Maybe it’s your favourite snack, a funny conversation with a friend, your pet, or getting outside for a few minutes.
💙 Create a Simple Coping Plan
Think about what helps you when you’re having a difficult day before that day arrives.
Your coping plan might include:
•Going for a short walk
• Texting a trusted friend or family member
• Listening to your comfort playlist
• Taking a few deep breaths
• Drawing, reading, or playing a game
•Taking a break from social media
Having a plan ready can make overwhelming moments feel a little more manageable.
📵 Disconnect to Reconnect
It’s easy to compare your life to everyone else’s highlight reel online—especially during back-to-
school season. Remember that social media usually shows the best moments, not the whole
story. Give yourself permission to unplug occasionally. Even a short break from scrolling can help you
reconnect with what you need.
One Last Reminder…
Some days you’ll feel like you’ve got everything under control. Other days, you might feel
overwhelmed, exhausted, or anxious—and that’s okay. Remember, showing up is enough. Don’t wait until you’re having a hard day to use the tools in your Comfort Kit. Try one or two of these ideas now so they become familiar when you need them most.
As you head into a new school year, be patient with yourself. Transitions can be exciting, but they can also be challenging. Give yourself permission to slow down, ask for support when you need it, and take care of your mental health along the way. You don’t have to have it all figured out this September. You are enough—exactly as you are.
What It’s Like to Be a Sibling: Your Feelings Matter Too.
When your brother or sister has a medical condition or spends a lot of time in the hospital, it can change the way life feels in a big way. A lot of attention naturally goes toward the sibling who is sick, and even though that makes sense, it doesn’t mean you stop having needs or feelings of your own. Your life shifts too, and that deserves to be acknowledged.
You might feel worried about what’s happening, or confused because things at home don’t feel the same anymore. Maybe routines have changed, or your parents seem busier or more stressed than usual. Some siblings say they feel left out or invisible during this time. Others feel guilty—guilty for being healthy, for wanting things to go back to normal, or even for getting frustrated or annoyed.
Here’s something important to remember: all these feelings and more are normal. You’re allowed to feel upset, tired, proud, scared, or hopeful—sometimes all in the same day. Being a sibling in this situation takes strength, even if you don’t always feel strong. What you’re going through matters.
Talking about your feelings is one of the most helpful things you can do. A parent, a friend, a teacher, or a child life specialist can help you work through what’s on your mind. You don’t have to handle everything on your own.
It also helps to make space for yourself, even in small ways. Write down your thoughts, listen to music that calms you, step outside for some fresh air, or do something that makes you feel like you. Taking care of your mental and emotional health isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. You can care about your sibling while also caring about yourself.
Here are some Coping Tips:
1. Your emotions are normal — even the messy ones.
• Name what you’re feeling.
• Journal, use a notes app, or record a voice memo.
• Make a “feelings playlist” to help you process emotions.
2. You deserve support — and it’s okay to ask for it.
• Check in weekly with a trusted adult.
• Tell someone when you just need them to listen.
• Write a note or text if talking feels hard.
3. Small self-care moments can help on tough days.
• Take a few slow, deep breaths.
• Do something that makes you feel like yourself.
• Spend 10 minutes on an activity that makes you feel calm and happy, like stretching, doodling, or playing a game.
4. You play an important role in your family.
• Set one small boundary for yourself each day.
• Remind yourself: “My needs are valid.”
• Make time for something unrelated to illness or hospital life.
First Month of School Check-In
As we reach the end of the first month of school, it’s a great time to pause and check in with yourself. How are you coping so far?
The first month back often brings lots of change—new routines, new teachers, and sometimes even big transitions like figuring out how to balance schoolwork with an illness. That’s a lot to carry.
Taking a few minutes to reflect on your experience can really help. You might want to write your thoughts down in a journal or even share them with someone you trust.
Here are some questions to think about:
- What is something you thought would be challenging, but wasn’t?
- Who can you talk to about your illness?
- Who can you talk to when you are feeling sad, stressed, or anxious?
- What are you worried about moving forward? What can you do to cope with this feeling?
- What are three things you are proud of yourself for doing this month?
After reflecting, remember: it’s completely normal to feel stressed, upset, or worried. Navigating school while managing your health is hard—and it’s okay to admit that.
Here are some ways to cope with the challenges of balancing school and illness:
- Talk to your teachers. Let them know if you need accommodations—like extra time on assignments due to an appointment or if you may need to leave class. Sharing your needs helps them support you.
- Lean on friends you trust. A good support system can make a big difference. When friends understand what’s going on, they can support you in ways that really help.
- Take breaks when you need to. School can be overwhelming, so give yourself permission to rest and do activities you enjoy.
- Prioritize sleep. Rest is powerful—it boosts your mood, focus, and ability to handle tough situations.
- Find an outlet. Whether it’s journaling, music, art, gaming, or fitness, having a way to express yourself can ease stress.
Most of all, remember: it’s okay to ask for help from friends, family, or loved ones. Your health and well-being is important!
Take a deep breath—you’ve got this.
Coping with Grief Through Nature: Try the Nature Colour Walk Challenge
Grief can feel heavy and confusing. When someone important to us dies, it can turn our world upside down. There’s no clear map for how to cope—but there are small things that can help. One of them is spending time in nature.
Being outside won’t take the pain away, but it can offer a quiet space to breathe, reflect, and feel a little more grounded. That’s why we’re inviting you to try something gentle and simple this week:
🌿 The Nature Colour Walk Challenge 🌿
What is it?
It’s a walk with a purpose. Choose a colour—any colour—and head outside. It could be your backyard, a park, a sidewalk… anywhere that feels safe. As you walk, look for that colour in nature.
If you choose green, you might see leaves, grass, or moss. If you choose yellow, maybe you’ll spot flowers, sunlight, or a dandelion. You can take photos, jot things down, or simply notice what you see.
This isn’t about walking far or fast. It’s about slowing down, noticing, and reconnecting.
Why does this help?
Grief can make us feel disconnected—from ourselves, from others, even from the world around us. Nature doesn’t ask questions or expect you to feel a certain way. It just is—calm, messy, quiet, alive.
Looking for one colour helps focus your attention and brings you back to the present moment. It’s a simple way to find a little calm when everything feels too big.
How to try a Nature Colour Walk:
- Go outside—wherever feels right.
- Pick a colour.
- Walk slowly and look for that colour in nature.
- Pay attention to what you see, hear, and feel.
- If you’d like, take photos or write down what stands out.
- When you’re done, take a moment to reflect.
Want to think about it more? Try asking yourself:
- What colour did I choose, and why?
- Did anything I saw remind me of the person who died?
- How did I feel before and after the walk?
- Was it easy or hard to focus?
You don’t have to share your answers with anyone—but if you want to, we’d love to hear about your experience.
Grief can show up in many ways. It’s okay if some days feel impossible. A short walk in nature won’t fix everything, but it can give you a quiet moment of peace—and you deserve that.
You’re not alone.
From Winter to Spring: Grieving and Growing
As winter turns into spring, we start to see signs of new life. Snow melts, flowers begin to bloom, and the days get longer and brighter. This change in the seasons can also remind us of the changes we go through when we are grieving.
Losing someone you care about is one of the hardest things anyone can face. Grief is the deep sadness we feel when someone we love dies. It can come with many emotions—like anger, confusion, fear, or even feeling nothing at all. There is no “right way” to grieve, and there’s no timeline for when you should feel better. Everyone’s journey is different.
Spring can be a symbol of hope. It doesn’t mean forgetting the person you lost. It means finding ways to keep going and grow while still remembering them. Like nature, we can change and grow after loss, even if it takes time.
Here are a few ways to help you cope with grief and begin healing:
1. Let Yourself Feel
Sometimes people think they have to be strong and hide their emotions. But it’s okay to cry, feel upset, or even feel numb. Your feelings are valid. Grief doesn’t go away overnight, and you don’t have to pretend everything is okay. Let yourself feel what you feel without judgment.
2. Express Yourself
It can be hard to talk about grief. You might not know what to say, or you might feel like others don’t understand. Try writing in a journal, drawing, painting, or even playing music. Creative activities can help you release emotions in a healthy way. Over time, you may be able to look back and see how your feelings have changed.
Tip: Try using a grief journal like Wanderings: A Wayfinders Grief Notebook to guide your thoughts and feelings.
3. Talk to People Who Get It
Sometimes it helps to talk to people who are also grieving. Support groups—whether in person or online—can help you feel less alone. You can also talk to a trusted adult, teacher, or counselor. Sharing your story and hearing others can bring comfort and new ideas for healing.
4. Try Mindfulness or Breathing Exercises
Grief can feel heavy and stressful. When things feel overwhelming, try to pause and take slow, deep breaths. Focusing on your breathing can help calm your body and mind. Even just five minutes a day of quiet breathing or stretching can make a difference.
5. Take Care of Your Body
Grief can make your body feel tired and worn out. It’s important to care for yourself by eating good food, getting enough sleep, and moving your body. A short walk, a nap, or even just drinking water can help you feel a little better, one small step at a time.
Spring reminds us that change can bring new growth. It doesn’t mean your grief disappears, but it means healing is possible. Just like flowers bloom again after winter, you can find your way forward—even if it takes time. Be patient and gentle with yourself. You’re not alone.
4 Tips To Help Siblings Cope
Having a sibling with medical challenges can feel tough sometimes. You may feel uncertain, sad, or even helpless at times. It’s normal to feel a mix of emotions, but it’s important to know you’re not alone. Many kids with a sibling who is ill feel isolated or overwhelmed at times. However, there are ways to cope and get support.
Some tips that can help include:
Understanding and Preparation
One way to feel better is to learn about your sibling’s illness. Ask a parent, caregiver, or trusted adult to explain it in a way you can understand. When you know what’s happening, you might feel less worried and more ready for what’s coming next. Understanding what your sibling needs can also help you support them better.
Stay Connected and Included
When everything seems to focus on your sibling’s illness, you might feel left out. But remember, you are important too! Spend time doing things you enjoy with your friends or other family members is important.
Predictability and Routine
Having a routine can help bring comfort during uncertain times. While things may change because of medical appointments or treatments, try to keep parts of your day the same, like regular meals, extra-curricular activities or your bedtime routine. Knowing what to expect can make things feel less stressful.
Takeaway Tips for Coping:
- Talk it out with someone you trust (it can be a loved one, friend, teacher, guidance counsellor).
- Ask questions to understand your sibling’s illness and to feel more prepared.
- Stay connected with friends, family, and check out Upopolis to connect with others who have similar experiences. (Stay tuned for our sibling island Common Grounds coming in April!)
- Stick to routines to help you feel more settled.
Here at Upopolis, we want to create a safe online space where youth who are siblings can connect with each other, share their feelings, and get advice. It’s a great way to find others who understand what you’re going through.
Stay tuned for April’s Common Grounds where siblings can come together to talk, play games, and learn new ways to cope. It’s a great way to feel supported!
Navigating tough times: how to cope when a parent is sick
When a parent or caregiver gets sick, it affects the entire family, and young people often feel it the most. This can be a tough time full of emotional stress, changes in roles, and new family responsibilities. Understanding how a parent’s or caregiver’s illness affects you can help you handle this difficult situation. This blog post will explain some of what you might experience and give you some tips for coping with these changes.
Stress and Anxiety
The first thing young people often experience when a parent gets sick is emotional distress. It’s normal to feel a mix of emotions like fear, sadness, anger, and even guilt. Not knowing what will happen in the future, along with the stress of seeing a parent in pain, can be overwhelming. This emotional strain may show up as mood swings, withdrawing from friends, or changes in behavior.
You may feel helpless watching your parent struggle. It can lead to feelings of anxiety or sadness, and you might worry about your parent’s health, the family’s finances, or what might happen if the illness is serious.
Tip: Focus on what you can control, while allowing yourself to feel your emotions. When everything feels uncertain, it can help to create small, manageable routines for yourself, such as regular check-ins with your parent or taking time for self-care. This could be something as simple as journaling your feelings, doing breathing exercises, or engaging in a calming activity like reading or taking a walk.
Increased Responsibilities
When a parent is sick, the family’s responsibilities may shift, and you might be asked to take on tasks you’re not prepared for. You might end up helping care for younger siblings, doing more chores around the house, or even taking care of your sick parent. This change in roles can be especially difficult for teens, who are already dealing with the challenges of growing up.
While some young people might rise to the occasion, these new duties can also cause burnout, frustration, and even anger. It can be hard to balance these extra responsibilities with schoolwork, hobbies, and keeping up with friends.
Tip: Set realistic expectations for yourself and communicate with others about what you can manage. It’s okay to ask for help or share your feelings with a trusted family member or friend. Try to break tasks into smaller, more manageable steps, and make sure to take breaks to recharge – your well-being is just as important as your responsibilities.
Academic Challenges
The emotional and practical stress of having a sick parent can also affect your school life. It’s common for grades to drop, or for students to lose interest in school. Some might struggle to concentrate or miss school because of the extra responsibilities at home.
It’s important for teachers and counselors to understand these struggles and offer support. Simple things like giving extended deadlines or providing counseling can make a big difference during this tough time.
Tip: Communicate with your teachers or school counselor about what you’re going through. Let them know if you’re struggling to keep up, and ask for extensions or extra help if needed. Most teachers will be understanding and willing to support you, which can relieve some of the pressure during a difficult time.
Social Isolation
Many young people with a sick parent feel isolated from their friends. They may avoid talking about their situation because they’re afraid of being misunderstood or pitied. This can make them feel even more alone, especially if they need to skip social events to take care of family responsibilities.
However, it’s important to keep in touch with friends. Even if you’re not able to hang out as much, they can still be a great support system.
Tip: Be open with a close friend about what you’re going through, even if it’s just a little at a time. You don’t have to go into all the details, but sharing some of your feelings can help you feel more connected. Friends can offer support, and just knowing they’re there can make a big difference, even if you can’t see them as often.
Dealing with a parent’s illness is challenging. But with the right support, it can also be a time of personal growth and strength. By recognizing the challenges and making sure you have emotional, academic, and social support, you can get through this experience and come out stronger.
If you or someone you know would benefit from meeting other youth who have a sick parent or caregiver, refer them to our Youth of Adult Patients (YAP) Island! Visit upopolis.org for more information or e-mail support@upopolis.com.
Grief: Here for the Holidays
It’s December, and the air has filled with holiday lights, festive decorations, and a sense of cheer. However, for many of us, this season can also bring a mix of emotions – especially if we’ve experienced the death of someone we love. It’s a time when the absence of a family member or friend is felt even more, especially amid the celebrations. It’s important to talk about this.
Death and grief are often considered taboo subjects, among young people and adults alike. We might feel pressured to keep our feelings hidden or to “stay positive” during the holidays. Yet, acknowledging our emotions can be a crucial part of healing, especially during a time that focuses on being together and feeling happy.
Why Grief is Normal
Grief isn’t linear; it doesn’t follow a set path or timeline. It can visit us unexpectedly and often resurfaces during big moments – like holidays. When we think about those who have died, it’s completely normal to feel sad, confused, or even angry. Everyone experiences grief differently, and there’s no right or wrong way to navigate it.
Some people may find comfort in thinking about their loved ones, while others might feel overwhelmed by the loss. You might feel a sense of guilt for laughing or enjoying holiday traditions without them, but it’s important to recognize that it’s okay to feel joy and sadness at the same time.
The Holidays: A Time for Reflection
While many holidays focus on celebration, they can also provide an opportunity for reflection. You might consider creating a new tradition in honor of your loved one. This could be lighting a candle in their memory during a family gathering or sharing stories about them during dinner. These small acts can help keep their memory alive and make the holidays feel more inclusive of their presence.
Talking About It
What might feel like a big hurdle in addressing grief is the fear of bringing it up. You might worry about making others uncomfortable or feel like your feelings are a burden to others. However, talking about your loved one can be very healing – not just for you, but for others who might be feeling the same way. If you feel comfortable, share your thoughts with friends or family. They may be experiencing similar emotions but might not know how to express them.
If direct conversations feel too difficult, consider writing a letter to your loved one. This can be a therapeutic way to express your feelings, reflect on your memories, and share what you wish they could see or experience during this time.
Seeking Support
Sometimes, the feelings that come along with grief can feel too heavy to carry alone. If you’re struggling, know that it’s perfectly okay to seek help. Many schools offer counseling services, and there are also community resources and hotlines dedicated to supporting youth through grief. Online peer groups, like Upopolis, can be especially helpful, providing a space where you can connect with others who understand, or can at the very least, relate to what you’re going through.
Remembering and Celebrating Life
As you navigate this holiday season, remember that honoring someone who has died doesn’t mean you have to dwell in sadness. It’s possible to celebrate their life while still acknowledging your grief. You might choose to make a favorite dish they loved, create a photo album, or even volunteer in their memory.
The holidays can be a beautiful time to reflect on the love and memories shared with those who have died, allowing us to carry their memories into our celebrations.
December can be a complex month filled with both joy and sorrow. It’s okay to feel a mix of emotions, and it’s essential to talk about them. By sharing your feelings, creating new traditions, and seeking support, you can find a way to honor your loved ones while still engaging with the spirit of the season. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey, and it’s okay to express what’s in your heart.
As you navigate this holiday season, take time to honor your feelings and find ways to celebrate both life and loss. Whether through reflection, conversation, or remembrance, each step can help you create a meaningful connection to your loved one while embracing the beauty of the holidays.
Navigating Grief During the Holidays: Not My “Loved One”
The holiday season can be a challenging time, especially when you have been faced with the loss of someone who was part of your life but also caused pain or hurt. When someone we know who was abusive, hurtful, distant, or uninvolved dies, the emotions that follow can be incredibly complex. You might feel relief, guilt, sadness, or even confusion, and it’s important to understand that all these feelings are valid.
Acknowledging Complicated Emotions
The death of someone who was physically or psychologically hurtful can create a mix of emotions that may seem at odds with one another. On one hand, you might feel sorrow for their death; on the other, there may be relief or anger about the pain they caused. It’s important to recognize that grieving this type of loss doesn’t follow a set path. It’s okay to feel multiple emotions at once, and it’s essential to allow yourself to process these feelings without judgment.
Understanding Your Grief
- Mixed Feelings: Understand that grief can include a wide range of emotions. You might feel sadness for the relationship you wished you had, anger for the hurt they caused, or guilt for feeling relieved. These feelings can exist at the same time, and it’s okay to explore them.
- No Need to Justify: You don’t need to justify your feelings to anyone. Society often expects us to mourn a “loved one” in a specific way, but your experience is unique. It’s perfectly normal to feel conflicted about someone who hurt you or people you care for.
Coping Strategies
- Talk About It: Sharing your feelings with someone you trust can help you process your emotions. This could be a friend, family member, or counselor. Speaking about your experiences can validate your feelings and help you feel less isolated.
- Journaling: Writing down your thoughts can be a powerful way to navigate complex emotions. You might write about your memories, your feelings about their passing, and what you wish had been different in your relationship. Journaling provides a safe space to express what you’re going through.
- Create Boundaries: If you find yourself dealing with family or friends who want to discuss the deceased in a positive light, it’s okay to set boundaries. You have the right to decide how much you want to share about your feelings and experiences. And, it is okay to step away from conversations that you do not want to be included in.
Finding Healthy Outlets
- Engage in Self-Care: Prioritize your well-being during this time. Whether it’s through exercise, spending time with friends, or indulging in a hobby, find activities that bring you joy and comfort. Self-care is crucial when navigating complex emotions.
- Artistic Expression: Use art, music, or writing as an outlet for your feelings. Creating something can be therapeutic and can help you express emotions that might be difficult to articulate verbally.
- Mindfulness and Reflection: Consider mindfulness practices, such as meditation or yoga, to help you stay grounded. Reflecting on your emotions in a calm environment can offer clarity and peace amidst the turmoil.
Seeking Professional Help
If your emotions feel overwhelming or if you’re struggling to cope, seeking support from a mental health professional can be incredibly beneficial. Therapists can provide a safe space for you to explore your feelings and help you develop coping strategies tailored to your situation.
Remembering and Honouring Yourself
As you navigate this grief, it’s crucial to remember that your feelings matter. It’s okay to acknowledge the pain caused by the person who died while also allowing yourself to feel relief or any other emotions that arise. This can be a time for you to focus on healing and taking control of your story.
Grieving the death of someone who caused physical or psychological pain can be a complicated journey, especially during the holiday season. It’s important to recognize that your feelings are valid and that you don’t have to follow anyone else’s expectations of how to grieve. By talking about your emotions, journaling, engaging in self-care, and seeking professional support if needed, you can navigate this challenging time in a way that honors your experience.
Remember, you are not alone in this process. Allow yourself to feel what you need to feel, and take the time to care for yourself as you navigate this complex grief. The path to healing can be winding, but it’s entirely yours to walk.
If you or someone you know would like to meet other youth who are grieving the death of someone in their lives, refer them to the Grief Island on Upopolis – a safe, secure online community for youth aged 13-23 to connect with others who are experiencing the same. Visit https://www.upopolis.com/professional/#refer-youth to refer a youth today!
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