Coping

When a parent or caregiver gets sick, it affects the whole family, and young people often feel it the most. Youth may feel many different emotions, from sadness, to anger, to guilt, and even continued happiness; they might feel a shift in their family dynamics, and may find themselves having trouble concentrating on school or hobbies. By understanding what youth experience when a parent or caregiver is unwell, families, teachers, and communities can better support them.

Youth may typically experience the below when navigating the illness of a parent or caregiver:

Stress and Anxiety

When a parent is ill, youth often feel a mix of emotions like fear, sadness, anger, and guilt. They may also continue to feel joy and happiness despite this difficult time, which is not unusual. It’s normal when watching a parent or caregiver struggle to worry about what might happen in the future or to feel overwhelmed. This emotional strain can show up in mood swings, pulling away from friends, or changes in behavior. Youth may feel helpless, which can lead to more anxiety or sadness. Concerns about their family member’s health, family finances, or the future can weigh heavily on their mind.

Increased Responsibilities

When a parent or caregiver is sick, family roles may shift, and youth might find themselves having to take on new responsibilities. This could include looking after younger siblings, doing more chores, or even helping care for their sick parent or caregiver. For young adults already facing the challenges of growing up, this can feel especially tough. Some youth might handle these added duties well, but it can also lead to feeling burnt out, frustrated, or resentful while they’re needing to balance these responsibilities with school, activities, and friendships.

Academic Challenges

The stress and responsibilities at home can affect schoolwork. It’s common for grades to drop or for youth to lose interest in school. Youth may also find it hard to focus or miss classes because of their situation.

Social Isolation

Having a sick parent or caregiver can cause feelings of isolation, as youth may have a hard time connecting with friends or classmates who aren’t experiencing the same as they are. Youth may hesitate to talk about their situation for fear of being misunderstood. This isolation is especially hard as they may sometimes feel the need to skip out on social activities with their friends to support their sick parent or caregiver.

When a parent or caregiver is ill, it’s important for adults to provide support for young adults navigating their complex emotions and situations. Here are some ways adults can help:

1. Open Communication

• Encourage youth to express their feelings openly. Create a safe space where they feel comfortable sharing their fears, sadness, or any joy they might still experience.
• Listen actively without judgment, allowing them to vent or share their thoughts.

2. Validate Their Emotions

• Acknowledge that their feelings – whether it’s sadness, anger, or even moments of happiness – are normal and valid. Let them know it’s okay to feel a mix of emotions during tough times.

3. Offer Reassurance

• Remind them that it’s okay to feel helpless sometimes and that they are not alone. Let them know you’re there to support them through the challenges.

4. Provide Practical Support

• Help them manage responsibilities at home and at school. This might include assisting with chores, coordinating schedules, or offering to help with homework.

5. Encourage Social Connections

• Help them maintain friendships and social activities. Encourage them to spend time with friends, as these connections can provide a valuable support system.

6. Promote Healthy Coping Strategies

• Suggest activities that can help them cope with stress, such as exercise, art, or journaling. Encourage them to explore hobbies or interests that bring them joy.

7. Seek Professional Help

• If their emotions become overwhelming, encourage them to talk to a counselor or therapist. Professional support can provide tools for coping with their feelings.
• Peer support groups can be great resources for teens; they have the chance to meet others who are navigating the same experiences, relieving some feelings of isolation, learning coping strategies that have worked for others, and encouraging peer connection.

8. Be Patient and Understanding

• Recognize that mood swings or changes in behavior are part of the process. Offer support without pressure, and let them know you’re there whenever they need to talk or need help.

9. Model Self-Care

• Show the importance of self-care by practicing it yourself. Demonstrate healthy ways to manage stress and emotions, which can encourage teens to adopt similar habits.

10. Check-In Regularly

• Regularly check in with them about how they’re feeling and coping. Simple questions can show that you care and are there to support them.

By providing understanding and practical support, adults can help teens navigate the emotional challenges that come with a parent or caregiver’s illness, allowing them to feel less isolated and more empowered.

If you know a youth aged 13-23 who has a sick parent or caregiver, refer them to our online social community – Youth of Adult Patients (YAP) Island. It’s a space for them to connect with others who are navigating the same experience, and is completing monitored by child life specialists. Visit upopolis.com to refer them today!