Coping
Changing Seasons, Changing Pace: Finding Your Fall Flow
There is something special about October. Trees turn gold, red and yellow, the air gets crisp, and the world naturally invites us to slow down. But while nature is easing into a quieter season, your schedule might be doing the exact opposite. Between school assignments, staying connected with friends, and managing medical appointments, treatment schedules, or health changes, autumn can quickly feel overwhelming.
If you’re feeling the weight of a busy calendar, remember this: you don’t have to move at the same speed as everyone else to enjoy the season. Here’s how you can honor your health, protect your energy, and still savor the magic of fall.
1.Match Your Pace to Your Season
Nature doesn’t bloom all year long, and you aren’t meant to constantly run at full
speed, either. School deadlines, appointments, new routines, hospital visits or
managing different symptoms, can take lots of physical and emotional energy.
–Give Yourself Credit: Recognize that establishing a new school routine,
socializing with friends and managing your health can be a delicate
balance. If an appointment takes most of your strength, it is completely
valid to rest for the remainder of the day.
–Listen to Your Body’s Signals: Trouble focusing, fatigue and or feeling
easily frustrated are signs that your system may need a pause. Resting isn’t
a failure—it’s an essential part of your care
2.Create Low-Pressure Traditions
Fall is packed with social expectations, but you can redesign traditions to
fit your comfort level:
–Swap Big Crowds for Cozy Spaces: If a busy fall event feels exhausting,
bring the fall vibe to you. Decorate your room, bake seasonal treats, or host
a low-key scary movie night with a close friend.
–Keep Connection Flexible: True friends understand that your health
comes first. It’s okay to join a group chat, hop on a video call, or hang out
online when going out in person isn’t in the cards.
-The “Exit Strategy”: When you do attend events, give yourself an easy exit
plan beforehand. Knowing you can leave whenever you need to, takes
away a lot of the pressure.
3.Build Your Personal “Fall Comfort Kit”
When days are filled with long school hours, homework, waiting for
appointments, or different commitments, having a portable “Comfort Kit” can
make a hard day feel much softer:
-Sensory Comforts: Pack a cozy sweater, your favorite lip balm, or a soft
blanket for appointment days.
-Mindful Distractions: Create a go to playlist, audiobooks, or have a pocket
journal ready to help you decompress between commitments.
-Small Rituals: Find one tiny thing each day that grounds you—like
watching the leaves fall outside your window or sipping a warm drink
after a long day.
What is one small way you bring comfort to your routine when school and health commitments start to pile up? Enjoy finding your fall flow. 🙂
Summer Off Schedule: The Quiet Struggle of Feeling Disconnected
Summer is often pictured as freedom, late nights, no alarms, spontaneous plans, and endless sunshine. And in a lot of ways, it is that. But what people don’t always talk about is the strange in-between feeling that can come with it: losing your routine, drifting from friends, and feeling more disconnected than expected.
When school is in session, life has structure built in. You see the same people every day, even if it’s just for a few minutes between classes. There are shared routines, inside jokes, and a natural rhythm that keeps friendships active without much effort. But once summer starts, that rhythm disappears almost overnight.
When “Free Time” Feels Less Free
At first, having no schedule sounds amazing. Sleep in, stay up late, do whatever you want. But after a while, that lack of structure can start to feel like floating with no direction. Days blur together. Plans don’t always happen. And even when you want to reach out to friends, it’s easy to assume they’re busy, or to fall into the habit of waiting instead of initiating.
Friendships Feel Different in the Summer
One of the hardest parts of summer is realizing that “out of sight” can sometimes turn into “out of touch.” During the school year, friendships are maintained almost automatically. In the summer, they require more intention. And when everyone is in a different routine, it’s normal for communication to slow down. That doesn’t mean friendships are ending, it just means they’re shifting. But it can still feel isolating when you’re the one waiting for a message or trying to make plans that don’t line up.
The Quiet Feeling of Disconnection
Even when you’re technically “doing things,” summer can still feel emotionally quiet. You might be surrounded by people sometimes, but still feel a bit separate from your usual support system. Social media can make this worse by seeing others constantly out, traveling, or always with friends can make your own slower days feel like you’re missing out, even when you’re just living your own version of summer.
Finding Your Own Rhythm Again
The good news is that this feeling doesn’t last forever, and there are ways to ease it:
- Creating a simple daily routine (even something small like a morning walk or set meal times)
- Making plans ahead of time instead of waiting for last-minute invites
- Checking in with friends regularly, even if it’s just a quick message
- Finding small things that anchor your day, like a hobby, workout, or creative project
- Accepting that not every day has to be “productive” to be meaningful
A Different Kind of Summer
Summer doesn’t always have to be loud or constantly social to be good. Sometimes it’s about learning how to be okay in quieter moments, and realizing that connection doesn’t disappear just because it changes pace.Friendships stretch, routines shift, and you adjust. And somewhere in that adjustment, you start building a different kind of balance, one that includes both connection and independence.
A Summer That Feels Like You
Summer is a season of change. Friendships shift, routines look different, and there’s often a little bit of figuring things out along the way. But change can also create space for growth. It can be a chance to discover new interests, strengthen relationships, and learn what helps you feel connected.
Whether your summer is full of adventures or made up of quieter moments, there’s room for it to be meaningful. Sometimes finding your own rhythm is the first step toward feeling more connected, both with others and with yourself.
What It’s Like to Be a Sibling: Your Feelings Matter Too.
When your brother or sister has a medical condition or spends a lot of time in the hospital, it can change the way life feels in a big way. A lot of attention naturally goes toward the sibling who is sick, and even though that makes sense, it doesn’t mean you stop having needs or feelings of your own. Your life shifts too, and that deserves to be acknowledged.
You might feel worried about what’s happening, or confused because things at home don’t feel the same anymore. Maybe routines have changed, or your parents seem busier or more stressed than usual. Some siblings say they feel left out or invisible during this time. Others feel guilty—guilty for being healthy, for wanting things to go back to normal, or even for getting frustrated or annoyed.
Here’s something important to remember: all these feelings and more are normal. You’re allowed to feel upset, tired, proud, scared, or hopeful—sometimes all in the same day. Being a sibling in this situation takes strength, even if you don’t always feel strong. What you’re going through matters.
Talking about your feelings is one of the most helpful things you can do. A parent, a friend, a teacher, or a child life specialist can help you work through what’s on your mind. You don’t have to handle everything on your own.
It also helps to make space for yourself, even in small ways. Write down your thoughts, listen to music that calms you, step outside for some fresh air, or do something that makes you feel like you. Taking care of your mental and emotional health isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. You can care about your sibling while also caring about yourself.
Here are some Coping Tips:
1. Your emotions are normal — even the messy ones.
• Name what you’re feeling.
• Journal, use a notes app, or record a voice memo.
• Make a “feelings playlist” to help you process emotions.
2. You deserve support — and it’s okay to ask for it.
• Check in weekly with a trusted adult.
• Tell someone when you just need them to listen.
• Write a note or text if talking feels hard.
3. Small self-care moments can help on tough days.
• Take a few slow, deep breaths.
• Do something that makes you feel like yourself.
• Spend 10 minutes on an activity that makes you feel calm and happy, like stretching, doodling, or playing a game.
4. You play an important role in your family.
• Set one small boundary for yourself each day.
• Remind yourself: “My needs are valid.”
• Make time for something unrelated to illness or hospital life.
First Month of School Check-In
As we reach the end of the first month of school, it’s a great time to pause and check in with yourself. How are you coping so far?
The first month back often brings lots of change—new routines, new teachers, and sometimes even big transitions like figuring out how to balance schoolwork with an illness. That’s a lot to carry.
Taking a few minutes to reflect on your experience can really help. You might want to write your thoughts down in a journal or even share them with someone you trust.
Here are some questions to think about:
- What is something you thought would be challenging, but wasn’t?
- Who can you talk to about your illness?
- Who can you talk to when you are feeling sad, stressed, or anxious?
- What are you worried about moving forward? What can you do to cope with this feeling?
- What are three things you are proud of yourself for doing this month?
After reflecting, remember: it’s completely normal to feel stressed, upset, or worried. Navigating school while managing your health is hard—and it’s okay to admit that.
Here are some ways to cope with the challenges of balancing school and illness:
- Talk to your teachers. Let them know if you need accommodations—like extra time on assignments due to an appointment or if you may need to leave class. Sharing your needs helps them support you.
- Lean on friends you trust. A good support system can make a big difference. When friends understand what’s going on, they can support you in ways that really help.
- Take breaks when you need to. School can be overwhelming, so give yourself permission to rest and do activities you enjoy.
- Prioritize sleep. Rest is powerful—it boosts your mood, focus, and ability to handle tough situations.
- Find an outlet. Whether it’s journaling, music, art, gaming, or fitness, having a way to express yourself can ease stress.
Most of all, remember: it’s okay to ask for help from friends, family, or loved ones. Your health and well-being is important!
Take a deep breath—you’ve got this.
Coping with Grief Through Nature: Try the Nature Colour Walk Challenge
Grief can feel heavy and confusing. When someone important to us dies, it can turn our world upside down. There’s no clear map for how to cope—but there are small things that can help. One of them is spending time in nature.
Being outside won’t take the pain away, but it can offer a quiet space to breathe, reflect, and feel a little more grounded. That’s why we’re inviting you to try something gentle and simple this week:
🌿 The Nature Colour Walk Challenge 🌿
What is it?
It’s a walk with a purpose. Choose a colour—any colour—and head outside. It could be your backyard, a park, a sidewalk… anywhere that feels safe. As you walk, look for that colour in nature.
If you choose green, you might see leaves, grass, or moss. If you choose yellow, maybe you’ll spot flowers, sunlight, or a dandelion. You can take photos, jot things down, or simply notice what you see.
This isn’t about walking far or fast. It’s about slowing down, noticing, and reconnecting.
Why does this help?
Grief can make us feel disconnected—from ourselves, from others, even from the world around us. Nature doesn’t ask questions or expect you to feel a certain way. It just is—calm, messy, quiet, alive.
Looking for one colour helps focus your attention and brings you back to the present moment. It’s a simple way to find a little calm when everything feels too big.
How to try a Nature Colour Walk:
- Go outside—wherever feels right.
- Pick a colour.
- Walk slowly and look for that colour in nature.
- Pay attention to what you see, hear, and feel.
- If you’d like, take photos or write down what stands out.
- When you’re done, take a moment to reflect.
Want to think about it more? Try asking yourself:
- What colour did I choose, and why?
- Did anything I saw remind me of the person who died?
- How did I feel before and after the walk?
- Was it easy or hard to focus?
You don’t have to share your answers with anyone—but if you want to, we’d love to hear about your experience.
Grief can show up in many ways. It’s okay if some days feel impossible. A short walk in nature won’t fix everything, but it can give you a quiet moment of peace—and you deserve that.
You’re not alone.
U Got This: From School Days to Summer Ways
Our Upopolis Child Life Specialists help support youth through big changes-and the end of the school year is one of them. Whether you’re moving up a grade, switching schools, starting a new treatment, graduating, or heading into summer break, it’s normal to feel a mix of emotions.
Here are some tips to take care of yourself during this transition:
Talk About Your Feelings
Feeling excited and nervous? That’s okay! Change brings up all kinds of emotions. Talking to someone you trust; a parent, teacher, or friend- can help you feel calmer and more prepared.
Look Back & Celebrate the School Year You’ve done a lot this school year- even if it didn’t always feel easy. Before jumping into what’s next, take a moment to notice how far you’ve come.
Try one of these:
- Capture Memories: Take photos or write down your favorite moments or accomplishments on slips of paper.
- Top 3 List: What were your 3 favorite memories? 3 things you’re proud of? 3 things you learned?
- Notes: Write a quick thank-you or goodbye note to a teacher, friend, or even yourself!
- Year-in-Review: Draw a picture or make a playlist that captures your year’s vibe.
Get Ready for What’s Ahead
Big changes coming up? Sometimes new changes like a new school or schedule can feel overwhelming, but a little prep goes a long way.
New school? New schedule? Ask questions, take a tour, or talk to someone who’s been there. Knowing what to expect can help to feel safe and prepared.
Keep a Bit of Routine
Summer should be fun and relaxing, but your mind still likes some structure! Keep a loose routine for sleep, meals, and fun so your days feel balanced.
Even small habits—like a morning walk, journaling, or set mealtimes—can help your days feel more predictable and calm.
Remember: You’re Growing
Transitions are not always easy, but each step you’ve taken shows how much you’ve grown. You’ve already overcome so much, and you’re ready for what’s next. Be proud of yourself, and don’t hesitate to ask for support whenever you need it — you’re not alone on this journey.
From Winter to Spring: Grieving and Growing
As winter turns into spring, we start to see signs of new life. Snow melts, flowers begin to bloom, and the days get longer and brighter. This change in the seasons can also remind us of the changes we go through when we are grieving.
Losing someone you care about is one of the hardest things anyone can face. Grief is the deep sadness we feel when someone we love dies. It can come with many emotions—like anger, confusion, fear, or even feeling nothing at all. There is no “right way” to grieve, and there’s no timeline for when you should feel better. Everyone’s journey is different.
Spring can be a symbol of hope. It doesn’t mean forgetting the person you lost. It means finding ways to keep going and grow while still remembering them. Like nature, we can change and grow after loss, even if it takes time.
Here are a few ways to help you cope with grief and begin healing:
1. Let Yourself Feel
Sometimes people think they have to be strong and hide their emotions. But it’s okay to cry, feel upset, or even feel numb. Your feelings are valid. Grief doesn’t go away overnight, and you don’t have to pretend everything is okay. Let yourself feel what you feel without judgment.
2. Express Yourself
It can be hard to talk about grief. You might not know what to say, or you might feel like others don’t understand. Try writing in a journal, drawing, painting, or even playing music. Creative activities can help you release emotions in a healthy way. Over time, you may be able to look back and see how your feelings have changed.
Tip: Try using a grief journal like Wanderings: A Wayfinders Grief Notebook to guide your thoughts and feelings.
3. Talk to People Who Get It
Sometimes it helps to talk to people who are also grieving. Support groups—whether in person or online—can help you feel less alone. You can also talk to a trusted adult, teacher, or counselor. Sharing your story and hearing others can bring comfort and new ideas for healing.
4. Try Mindfulness or Breathing Exercises
Grief can feel heavy and stressful. When things feel overwhelming, try to pause and take slow, deep breaths. Focusing on your breathing can help calm your body and mind. Even just five minutes a day of quiet breathing or stretching can make a difference.
5. Take Care of Your Body
Grief can make your body feel tired and worn out. It’s important to care for yourself by eating good food, getting enough sleep, and moving your body. A short walk, a nap, or even just drinking water can help you feel a little better, one small step at a time.
Spring reminds us that change can bring new growth. It doesn’t mean your grief disappears, but it means healing is possible. Just like flowers bloom again after winter, you can find your way forward—even if it takes time. Be patient and gentle with yourself. You’re not alone.
4 Tips To Help Siblings Cope
Having a sibling with medical challenges can feel tough sometimes. You may feel uncertain, sad, or even helpless at times. It’s normal to feel a mix of emotions, but it’s important to know you’re not alone. Many kids with a sibling who is ill feel isolated or overwhelmed at times. However, there are ways to cope and get support.
Some tips that can help include:
Understanding and Preparation
One way to feel better is to learn about your sibling’s illness. Ask a parent, caregiver, or trusted adult to explain it in a way you can understand. When you know what’s happening, you might feel less worried and more ready for what’s coming next. Understanding what your sibling needs can also help you support them better.
Stay Connected and Included
When everything seems to focus on your sibling’s illness, you might feel left out. But remember, you are important too! Spend time doing things you enjoy with your friends or other family members is important.
Predictability and Routine
Having a routine can help bring comfort during uncertain times. While things may change because of medical appointments or treatments, try to keep parts of your day the same, like regular meals, extra-curricular activities or your bedtime routine. Knowing what to expect can make things feel less stressful.
Takeaway Tips for Coping:
- Talk it out with someone you trust (it can be a loved one, friend, teacher, guidance counsellor).
- Ask questions to understand your sibling’s illness and to feel more prepared.
- Stay connected with friends, family, and check out Upopolis to connect with others who have similar experiences. (Stay tuned for our sibling island Common Grounds coming in April!)
- Stick to routines to help you feel more settled.
Here at Upopolis, we want to create a safe online space where youth who are siblings can connect with each other, share their feelings, and get advice. It’s a great way to find others who understand what you’re going through.
Stay tuned for April’s Common Grounds where siblings can come together to talk, play games, and learn new ways to cope. It’s a great way to feel supported!
Navigating tough times: how to cope when a parent is sick
When a parent or caregiver gets sick, it affects the entire family, and young people often feel it the most. This can be a tough time full of emotional stress, changes in roles, and new family responsibilities. Understanding how a parent’s or caregiver’s illness affects you can help you handle this difficult situation. This blog post will explain some of what you might experience and give you some tips for coping with these changes.
Stress and Anxiety
The first thing young people often experience when a parent gets sick is emotional distress. It’s normal to feel a mix of emotions like fear, sadness, anger, and even guilt. Not knowing what will happen in the future, along with the stress of seeing a parent in pain, can be overwhelming. This emotional strain may show up as mood swings, withdrawing from friends, or changes in behavior.
You may feel helpless watching your parent struggle. It can lead to feelings of anxiety or sadness, and you might worry about your parent’s health, the family’s finances, or what might happen if the illness is serious.
Tip: Focus on what you can control, while allowing yourself to feel your emotions. When everything feels uncertain, it can help to create small, manageable routines for yourself, such as regular check-ins with your parent or taking time for self-care. This could be something as simple as journaling your feelings, doing breathing exercises, or engaging in a calming activity like reading or taking a walk.
Increased Responsibilities
When a parent is sick, the family’s responsibilities may shift, and you might be asked to take on tasks you’re not prepared for. You might end up helping care for younger siblings, doing more chores around the house, or even taking care of your sick parent. This change in roles can be especially difficult for teens, who are already dealing with the challenges of growing up.
While some young people might rise to the occasion, these new duties can also cause burnout, frustration, and even anger. It can be hard to balance these extra responsibilities with schoolwork, hobbies, and keeping up with friends.
Tip: Set realistic expectations for yourself and communicate with others about what you can manage. It’s okay to ask for help or share your feelings with a trusted family member or friend. Try to break tasks into smaller, more manageable steps, and make sure to take breaks to recharge – your well-being is just as important as your responsibilities.
Academic Challenges
The emotional and practical stress of having a sick parent can also affect your school life. It’s common for grades to drop, or for students to lose interest in school. Some might struggle to concentrate or miss school because of the extra responsibilities at home.
It’s important for teachers and counselors to understand these struggles and offer support. Simple things like giving extended deadlines or providing counseling can make a big difference during this tough time.
Tip: Communicate with your teachers or school counselor about what you’re going through. Let them know if you’re struggling to keep up, and ask for extensions or extra help if needed. Most teachers will be understanding and willing to support you, which can relieve some of the pressure during a difficult time.
Social Isolation
Many young people with a sick parent feel isolated from their friends. They may avoid talking about their situation because they’re afraid of being misunderstood or pitied. This can make them feel even more alone, especially if they need to skip social events to take care of family responsibilities.
However, it’s important to keep in touch with friends. Even if you’re not able to hang out as much, they can still be a great support system.
Tip: Be open with a close friend about what you’re going through, even if it’s just a little at a time. You don’t have to go into all the details, but sharing some of your feelings can help you feel more connected. Friends can offer support, and just knowing they’re there can make a big difference, even if you can’t see them as often.
Dealing with a parent’s illness is challenging. But with the right support, it can also be a time of personal growth and strength. By recognizing the challenges and making sure you have emotional, academic, and social support, you can get through this experience and come out stronger.
If you or someone you know would benefit from meeting other youth who have a sick parent or caregiver, refer them to our Youth of Adult Patients (YAP) Island! Visit upopolis.org for more information or e-mail support@upopolis.com.
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