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Changing Seasons, Changing Pace: Finding Your Fall Flow
There is something special about October. Trees turn gold, red and yellow, the air gets crisp, and the world naturally invites us to slow down. But while nature is easing into a quieter season, your schedule might be doing the exact opposite. Between school assignments, staying connected with friends, and managing medical appointments, treatment schedules, or health changes, autumn can quickly feel overwhelming.
If you’re feeling the weight of a busy calendar, remember this: you don’t have to move at the same speed as everyone else to enjoy the season. Here’s how you can honor your health, protect your energy, and still savor the magic of fall.
1.Match Your Pace to Your Season
Nature doesn’t bloom all year long, and you aren’t meant to constantly run at full
speed, either. School deadlines, appointments, new routines, hospital visits or
managing different symptoms, can take lots of physical and emotional energy.
–Give Yourself Credit: Recognize that establishing a new school routine,
socializing with friends and managing your health can be a delicate
balance. If an appointment takes most of your strength, it is completely
valid to rest for the remainder of the day.
–Listen to Your Body’s Signals: Trouble focusing, fatigue and or feeling
easily frustrated are signs that your system may need a pause. Resting isn’t
a failure—it’s an essential part of your care
2.Create Low-Pressure Traditions
Fall is packed with social expectations, but you can redesign traditions to
fit your comfort level:
–Swap Big Crowds for Cozy Spaces: If a busy fall event feels exhausting,
bring the fall vibe to you. Decorate your room, bake seasonal treats, or host
a low-key scary movie night with a close friend.
–Keep Connection Flexible: True friends understand that your health
comes first. It’s okay to join a group chat, hop on a video call, or hang out
online when going out in person isn’t in the cards.
-The “Exit Strategy”: When you do attend events, give yourself an easy exit
plan beforehand. Knowing you can leave whenever you need to, takes
away a lot of the pressure.
3.Build Your Personal “Fall Comfort Kit”
When days are filled with long school hours, homework, waiting for
appointments, or different commitments, having a portable “Comfort Kit” can
make a hard day feel much softer:
-Sensory Comforts: Pack a cozy sweater, your favorite lip balm, or a soft
blanket for appointment days.
-Mindful Distractions: Create a go to playlist, audiobooks, or have a pocket
journal ready to help you decompress between commitments.
-Small Rituals: Find one tiny thing each day that grounds you—like
watching the leaves fall outside your window or sipping a warm drink
after a long day.
What is one small way you bring comfort to your routine when school and health commitments start to pile up? Enjoy finding your fall flow. 🙂
Summer Off Schedule: The Quiet Struggle of Feeling Disconnected
Summer is often pictured as freedom, late nights, no alarms, spontaneous plans, and endless sunshine. And in a lot of ways, it is that. But what people don’t always talk about is the strange in-between feeling that can come with it: losing your routine, drifting from friends, and feeling more disconnected than expected.
When school is in session, life has structure built in. You see the same people every day, even if it’s just for a few minutes between classes. There are shared routines, inside jokes, and a natural rhythm that keeps friendships active without much effort. But once summer starts, that rhythm disappears almost overnight.
When “Free Time” Feels Less Free
At first, having no schedule sounds amazing. Sleep in, stay up late, do whatever you want. But after a while, that lack of structure can start to feel like floating with no direction. Days blur together. Plans don’t always happen. And even when you want to reach out to friends, it’s easy to assume they’re busy, or to fall into the habit of waiting instead of initiating.
Friendships Feel Different in the Summer
One of the hardest parts of summer is realizing that “out of sight” can sometimes turn into “out of touch.” During the school year, friendships are maintained almost automatically. In the summer, they require more intention. And when everyone is in a different routine, it’s normal for communication to slow down. That doesn’t mean friendships are ending, it just means they’re shifting. But it can still feel isolating when you’re the one waiting for a message or trying to make plans that don’t line up.
The Quiet Feeling of Disconnection
Even when you’re technically “doing things,” summer can still feel emotionally quiet. You might be surrounded by people sometimes, but still feel a bit separate from your usual support system. Social media can make this worse by seeing others constantly out, traveling, or always with friends can make your own slower days feel like you’re missing out, even when you’re just living your own version of summer.
Finding Your Own Rhythm Again
The good news is that this feeling doesn’t last forever, and there are ways to ease it:
- Creating a simple daily routine (even something small like a morning walk or set meal times)
- Making plans ahead of time instead of waiting for last-minute invites
- Checking in with friends regularly, even if it’s just a quick message
- Finding small things that anchor your day, like a hobby, workout, or creative project
- Accepting that not every day has to be “productive” to be meaningful
A Different Kind of Summer
Summer doesn’t always have to be loud or constantly social to be good. Sometimes it’s about learning how to be okay in quieter moments, and realizing that connection doesn’t disappear just because it changes pace.Friendships stretch, routines shift, and you adjust. And somewhere in that adjustment, you start building a different kind of balance, one that includes both connection and independence.
A Summer That Feels Like You
Summer is a season of change. Friendships shift, routines look different, and there’s often a little bit of figuring things out along the way. But change can also create space for growth. It can be a chance to discover new interests, strengthen relationships, and learn what helps you feel connected.
Whether your summer is full of adventures or made up of quieter moments, there’s room for it to be meaningful. Sometimes finding your own rhythm is the first step toward feeling more connected, both with others and with yourself.
First Month of School Check-In
As we reach the end of the first month of school, it’s a great time to pause and check in with yourself. How are you coping so far?
The first month back often brings lots of change—new routines, new teachers, and sometimes even big transitions like figuring out how to balance schoolwork with an illness. That’s a lot to carry.
Taking a few minutes to reflect on your experience can really help. You might want to write your thoughts down in a journal or even share them with someone you trust.
Here are some questions to think about:
- What is something you thought would be challenging, but wasn’t?
- Who can you talk to about your illness?
- Who can you talk to when you are feeling sad, stressed, or anxious?
- What are you worried about moving forward? What can you do to cope with this feeling?
- What are three things you are proud of yourself for doing this month?
After reflecting, remember: it’s completely normal to feel stressed, upset, or worried. Navigating school while managing your health is hard—and it’s okay to admit that.
Here are some ways to cope with the challenges of balancing school and illness:
- Talk to your teachers. Let them know if you need accommodations—like extra time on assignments due to an appointment or if you may need to leave class. Sharing your needs helps them support you.
- Lean on friends you trust. A good support system can make a big difference. When friends understand what’s going on, they can support you in ways that really help.
- Take breaks when you need to. School can be overwhelming, so give yourself permission to rest and do activities you enjoy.
- Prioritize sleep. Rest is powerful—it boosts your mood, focus, and ability to handle tough situations.
- Find an outlet. Whether it’s journaling, music, art, gaming, or fitness, having a way to express yourself can ease stress.
Most of all, remember: it’s okay to ask for help from friends, family, or loved ones. Your health and well-being is important!
Take a deep breath—you’ve got this.
Dear 12-year-old Lily,
Dear 12 Year-old Lily,
TAKE A DEEP BREATH. I understand that things might feel overwhelming right now, but I want you to know that everything will be okay.
Today is an important day as you pick up your back brace. I can tell you from my own experience—wearing a back brace as a middle schooler and through many activities like summer camps, sleepovers, and vacations—that it will be okay. When you first went to the scoliosis clinic and saw the bulky, plastic brace, it probably made you feel unsure or nervous. Some questions that may have gone through your head like; “How will I play sports? What will my friends think? How will I sleep with the brace on?” It’s natural to have these thoughts, but I’m here to offer four tips that I wish someone had shared with me when I first got my back brace.
1. Be Kind to Yourself
Your brace and you are about to become very close friends. It may take time to get used to, so it’s important to try to be patient with yourself. Use tools like positive self-talk to help when things feel challenging. One great tool is the STOP breathing technique: Stop, take a breath, Observe how you’re feeling, and then Proceed. This can be really helpful when you feel overwhelmed, like when a classmate asks about your brace, and you’re not sure what to say. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones, like “I can do this” or “I’m doing my best.” And find things that comfort you, like reading or drawing, to help take your mind off any discomfort. Most importantly, remember: your back brace doesn’t stop you from doing the things you enjoy—it might just mean doing them in a new way. Let it be your superpower and keep doing what you love. Always be kind to yourself!
- Let Others be Curious
It’s okay for people to be curious. If someone asks questions, or even makes a comment, it’s usually because they don’t understand why you’re wearing the brace. Don’t be afraid to teach them a little about scoliosis and share why the brace is so important for your health. Educating others can help them be more supportive and kind.
- Embrace Your Strength
Be proud of who you are! I know I was nervous at first, like when I didn’t want to wear a swimsuit in front of others because of my brace. I worried about how my spine curve looked and whether others would notice. But in reality, the only person who focused on these things the most, was me. What others noticed was my confidence and how I carried myself. It’s okay to feel unsure sometimes—those feelings are totally normal. But over time, I learned to see my brace as my armor, and my scoliosis as something that makes me unique. I am empowered by my scoliosis, and you can be too!
- You’re Not Alone
It might feel like you’re the only one wearing a back brace, but you are not alone. It’s okay to feel all kinds of emotions, and it’s important to talk about them with the people who care about you. Your family, friends, and loved ones want to support you, but they can’t help if they don’t know what you need. Also, there are many other people who understand exactly what you’re going through. Seek out groups or communities, like the Scoliosis Common Grounds Group, where you can connect with others in similar situations. Knowing others are there to support you can make the journey a little easier.
Looking back at my own experience with a back brace, I now see it as something that helped me grow stronger and become the person I am today. So, 12-year-old Lily, get ready! The next few years are going to be wonderful.
Love,
20-year-old Lily
Our next Scoliosis Common Grounds Programming runs March 2 & 3rd at 7PM EST. Register here
10 ways to support youth navigating the illness of a parent or caregiver
When a parent or caregiver gets sick, it affects the whole family, and young people often feel it the most. Youth may feel many different emotions, from sadness, to anger, to guilt, and even continued happiness; they might feel a shift in their family dynamics, and may find themselves having trouble concentrating on school or hobbies. By understanding what youth experience when a parent or caregiver is unwell, families, teachers, and communities can better support them.
Youth may typically experience the below when navigating the illness of a parent or caregiver:
Stress and Anxiety
When a parent is ill, youth often feel a mix of emotions like fear, sadness, anger, and guilt. They may also continue to feel joy and happiness despite this difficult time, which is not unusual. It’s normal when watching a parent or caregiver struggle to worry about what might happen in the future or to feel overwhelmed. This emotional strain can show up in mood swings, pulling away from friends, or changes in behavior. Youth may feel helpless, which can lead to more anxiety or sadness. Concerns about their family member’s health, family finances, or the future can weigh heavily on their mind.
Increased Responsibilities
When a parent or caregiver is sick, family roles may shift, and youth might find themselves having to take on new responsibilities. This could include looking after younger siblings, doing more chores, or even helping care for their sick parent or caregiver. For young adults already facing the challenges of growing up, this can feel especially tough. Some youth might handle these added duties well, but it can also lead to feeling burnt out, frustrated, or resentful while they’re needing to balance these responsibilities with school, activities, and friendships.
Academic Challenges
The stress and responsibilities at home can affect schoolwork. It’s common for grades to drop or for youth to lose interest in school. Youth may also find it hard to focus or miss classes because of their situation.
Social Isolation
Having a sick parent or caregiver can cause feelings of isolation, as youth may have a hard time connecting with friends or classmates who aren’t experiencing the same as they are. Youth may hesitate to talk about their situation for fear of being misunderstood. This isolation is especially hard as they may sometimes feel the need to skip out on social activities with their friends to support their sick parent or caregiver.
When a parent or caregiver is ill, it’s important for adults to provide support for young adults navigating their complex emotions and situations. Here are some ways adults can help:
1. Open Communication
- Encourage youth to express their feelings openly. Create a safe space where they feel comfortable sharing their fears, sadness, or any joy they might still experience.
- Listen actively without judgment, allowing them to vent or share their thoughts.
2. Validate Their Emotions
- Acknowledge that their feelings – whether it’s sadness, anger, or even moments of happiness – are normal and valid. Let them know it’s okay to feel a mix of emotions during tough times.
3. Offer Reassurance
- Remind them that it’s okay to feel helpless sometimes and that they are not alone. Let them know you’re there to support them through the challenges.
4. Provide Practical Support
- Help them manage responsibilities at home and at school. This might include assisting with chores, coordinating schedules, or offering to help with homework.
5. Encourage Social Connections
- Help them maintain friendships and social activities. Encourage them to spend time with friends, as these connections can provide a valuable support system.
6. Promote Healthy Coping Strategies
- Suggest activities that can help them cope with stress, such as exercise, art, or journaling. Encourage them to explore hobbies or interests that bring them joy.
7. Seek Professional Help
- If their emotions become overwhelming, encourage them to talk to a counselor or therapist. Professional support can provide tools for coping with their feelings.
- Peer support groups can be great resources for teens; they have the chance to meet others who are navigating the same experiences, relieving some feelings of isolation, learning coping strategies that have worked for others, and encouraging peer connection.
8. Be Patient and Understanding
- Recognize that mood swings or changes in behavior are part of the process. Offer support without pressure, and let them know you’re there whenever they need to talk or need help.
9. Model Self-Care
- Show the importance of self-care by practicing it yourself. Demonstrate healthy ways to manage stress and emotions, which can encourage teens to adopt similar habits.
10. Check-In Regularly
- Regularly check in with them about how they’re feeling and coping. Simple questions can show that you care and are there to support them.
By providing understanding and practical support, adults can help teens navigate the emotional challenges that come with a parent or caregiver’s illness, allowing them to feel less isolated and more empowered.
If you know a youth aged 13-23 who has a sick parent or caregiver, refer them to our online social community – Youth of Adult Patients (YAP) Island. It’s a space for them to connect with others who are navigating the same experience, and is completing monitored by child life specialists. Visit upopolis.com to refer them today!